U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
40s are totally the cure
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
