If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
