i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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