I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
