After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Do you remember whose house we're in?
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
