I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
