Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
