She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
