plz talk dirty to me
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
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