I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
