I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
