I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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