I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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