i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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