While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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