i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
