I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
