In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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