oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
