he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
