I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
