i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
