Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
