stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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