That's when you crack a 10am beer
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
