I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
