you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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