I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
