Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I just blew my weed a kiss
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
