He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Randomize
