dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
