I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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