white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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