he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
