That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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