A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
