i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
