So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
