how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
