my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
