I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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