i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Randomize
