My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
