No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
