Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
