then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
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