You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
