names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
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