**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
