Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
