Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
